Since I started down this poly path, I find that watching TV and movies just isn’t the same any more. Over the weekend I wasn’t feeling well and I spent much of Saturday watching Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve been watching the series from the beginning and I’m now on season 3. It’s a show about surgeons and it looks at both their work in the hospital and their love lives. The main character, Meredith Grey, is an intern whose mother is quite famous in the world of surgery. The day before Meredith starts her job at the hospital, she meets someone at the bar across from the hospital and they have sex. The next day at the hospital, they meet again. It turns out that the man, Derek Shepherd, is a surgeon and she will be studying under him. Meredith does not know that Derek is estranged from his wife until the second season. Later on in the second season, Meredith gets a dog and has to take it to the vet Finn, who then asks her out. By this point, Derek’s wife Addison has returned and they try to work things out, but they decide to split. Derek and Finn tell Meredith that she has to decide between the two. In the following episode, Meredith dreams of having a threesome with both of them. If only that were actually an option… Derek and Finn even get along well! Any poly person could see, this would be a wonderful scenario for Meredith.
I also recently watched the movie Before Midnight. This is the final film in the series with Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. The first film, Before Sunrise, takes place in Vienna. Julie Delpy, a Parisian named Celine, and Ethan Hawke, an American named Jesse, meet on a train from Budapest. Jesse is getting off in Vienna to catch his flight back to the US. Celine is on her way back to Paris from visiting her grandmother. Jesse and Celine start talking and Jesse convinces her to get off the train and spend the day and night with him in Vienna. It is clear that they are falling in love and they plan to meet 6 months later on the train platform. However, they don’t meet again until 10 years later in Paris. This is the subject of the second film, Before Sunset. Jesse is now married with a son and has released a book about the night in Vienna with Celine, who is still living in Paris and has a partner who’s away quite often. They talk about the last 10 years and that familiar passion comes back. Both of them are unhappy. Jesse is in a sexless marriage, though he loves his son. At the end of the film, Celine takes Jesse to her apartment and plays a song for him about their night in Vienna. The film ends with Celine telling Jesse he’ll miss his plane… In the last film, they are together and have twin girls. The relationship between Jesse, his ex-wife, and Celine is very trying. Celine is offered a prestigious position in Paris and Jesse is a successful writer but he wants to be in Chicago with his son. He does not tell Celine to refuse the job offer, but it’s quite clear he wants to move. The magic and the spark from their relationship in the first two films is gone. The sex is stale. How could the problems be solved? Perhaps new sexual experiences and relationships would help Jesse and Celine… Many people tell me I advocate polyamory for everyone, but this is certainly not the case. The emotional maturity and the desire for growth must be there.