AskMiriam

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Archive for the tag “breaking up”

Breaking Up is Hard to do… when you’re poly

One thing I have observed in the poly community is what some people call transitioning. In the monogamous world, people would often call that, breaking up. As I mentioned in an earlier post, someone said to me that poly allows relationships to evolve as they were supposed to. This sometimes means that relationships reach their natural end. Sometimes the parties involved don’t need to discuss whether the relationship should continue or not and sometime they do. However, it seems more likely in the poly community that those parties will remain friends. As I have returned from my trip and while I was on the trip, I thought a lot about what sort of relationships I would like to have. I have a lover in New York City and I’ve been thinking a lot about that connection and whether it should continue. Some have told me that I don’t really need to do anything about it; it can wax and wane in importance as it was meant to do, especially given the distance. I do very much value it because I might not have gotten involved in this lifestyle had it not been for him. However, given that we can both be very busy, it’s natural for us not to talk much of the time. I am attracted to women and I had a female partner in the summer. I have been wanting more and more to be with a woman again as I enjoy the female energy. We are strong communicators and we place a lot of value on relationships, which is what I appreciate most about women. To that end, I joined okcupid to find a female partner. We’ll see how that goes… If I am involved in a new serious relationship in Toronto, I will have less and less time for other lovers, especially if they are far away. Poly can really be a juggling act and time management is very important. I just spoke today to someone I met on the trip when I had an accidental 24 hours in Denver and it looks like we will see each other fairly soon. Now that’s what I call, going the distance… I very much look forward to it!

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