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Archive for the tag “casual”

Question: Future Considerations

I bumped into an acquaintance last night and he asked me the following question: Where do I see my relationships in 15 years?

Answer: As the old cliche goes, it’s very difficult to predict the future. Sometimes I have an intuition that something will happen in the not too distant future, but I think it’s even harder to know what my life will be like in 15 years. I will be nearly 46. Here’s what I would like to have at that time: I hope and think I will still be with Ben. With regards to career, I would like by then to have a private practice where I help people with their relationships and for people new to polyamory, I want to help smooth that transition. I would like to have a female partner and assuming everyone gets along, I would like to be living with her and Ben; perhaps she is also with Ben, though we both want different things from other partners, so I don’t think that will happen.

As many of you know from previous posts (see Once More… With Feeling), I don’t really want children and Ben does. I think I would like to be an aunt and help raise the child or children; that definitely appeals to me. Of course, we have to figure out where the children would live and who Ben would be having those children with, but these don’t seem like far off possibilities. I have expressed recently that I would like to live in another country again (I’ve lived in England, Japan, and briefly in Germany) and that appeals to Ben; perhaps we’ll be living elsewhere, or in Canada. We would like to¬†have 2 places in Canada, one in the city (most likely Toronto) and one in the country.

Last year, I went through a period where I had 3 partners and for me, that was too much. In the future, I think I would have even less time, so 2 partners makes sense to me. I have found that it’s very difficult for me to have casual relationships because I develop feelings for people pretty quickly. As we get older, our priorities change; maybe I will have casual relationships, but I don’t see it happening. I know that I will always feel a need to have adventures, whatever those may look like. I hope I will still feel that way at 46.

If you have any questions, send me an email to  Thanks as always for reading!

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