AskMiriam

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Archive for the tag “hotel”

disAPPOINTMENT

Last weekend, I had a pretty annoying experience. For about a month, I had been in contact with an Italian guy who was going to spend 2 weeks in Beijing, which is only a few hours away by train from where I live. He told me he was going to arrive on January 3 and leave on January 17. He’s been in non-monogamous relationships before and he looked like an interesting guy, so I was definitely up for meeting him. The reason why he was coming to Beijing was to work on making the Hilton Hotel more environmentally friendly, which I really respected. I told him that I wouldn’t be able to come to Beijing because he’d be here during a very busy period where I had a lot of marking to do. He said he was happy to come to Zhengzhou, the city I live in. I told him that this past weekend would work out fine.

Fast forward to him arriving in China. We added each other on skype and I wanted to talk to him before he’d come to Zhengzhou. One night, I told him I could talk to him at a certain time and he didn’t come on. The next evening, I told him I was free and that I could be online, but he still didn’t come online. 2 days later, it was already Wednesday and I assumed he would be coming on Saturday. I asked him if he was still planning to come and he said yes. I informed him that I was only really free on Saturday night because I had to do marking on Saturday afternoon and we had a guest coming over on Sunday afternoon. I didn’t hear from him again until Saturday… at about 8pm, telling me that he’d be in Zhengzhou in 2 hours, despite the fact that I had sent him messages at 10am and 1pm telling him that I wanted to talk to him before he left for Zhengzhou. On Friday, Ben wasn’t feeling great, so I had to cover for one of his classes. At that point, I assumed that the Italian guy wasn’t coming. I have to say, I was quite horny at that time and was excited to have sex with someone else; Ben was excited for me too. I suppose I should have known that the Italian guy would stay at the Hilton Hotel, which isn’t that close to our place. Given his work, he probably got a discount. He didn’t arrive at the hotel until 10:30pm and that hotel is 20 kilometres away from our house; not a trivial distance to travel, especially given that we had company coming over the next day. In the end, I did not meet the Italian guy.

I have heard many people say that scheduling is one of the most difficult parts of being polyamorous. When you have several relationships, you need to make time for everyone. Plus, we have other things going on in our lives like work, alone time, and fun time. Given that the Italian guy was coming a fairly far distance to see me, I would think he would want to confirm beforehand that I would be able to see him at a certain hour. To me, this signifies a lack of respect for a person’s life. For me, but perhaps not for him, I actually wanted to get to know him a little bit. I was hoping we’d have dinner and have a real conversation. As a fellow blogger reminds us, it’s not (just) about the sex…

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