AskMiriam

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Archive for the tag “play”

Swinger’s Clubs and Sex Screams

Last night I had my first experience at M4, a swinger’s club in Toronto. It’s very nondescript from the outside, for obvious reasons, and once you enter, it looks like a normal club. There’s a dance floor, a bar, and a lounge area. Last night was quite busy as M4 hosted a meet and greet for a group called Naked World. M4 might look normal, but once midnight hits, the back opens. Everyone gets a locker, disrobes, and walks around either in towels or naked. There are beds, couches, floor space and by a certain point, there are tons of people having sex. Mostly 2somes, but some 3somes and 4somes as well. It almost feels like a very sexy laboratory under a pressure cooker with everyone moaning and yelling. It made me think about that concept of the usefulness of screaming during sex – some of you who read this blog might be familiar with the book Sex at Dawn. One controversial theory in that book is that women scream during sex to draw the attention of other males. Whether that theory is true or not, hearing people’s screams, not to mention actually watching people have sex, is quite a turn on. My opinion is that it makes people think, I need to make my mate scream as well so I can show off my skills. Either way, I think screaming is a good sign that the woman is having a good time. At one point, there were several couples around my partner and I that were pretty silent and I kept thinking, are they having a good time? Are their partners doing things that they would like done? Personally, I can understand the impulse to be quiet during sex. Plenty of people spend their days interacting with a wide variety of people and when they get into the bedroom, or the swinger’s club as the case may be, they just want to get on with the act of sex. However, I also think it’s important that our partners know what we like. The only criticism I have of M4 is that many of the couples there seemed content to be by themselves and not approach people they might want to play with. I understand that some people don’t want to be perceived as creepy, but if this is a place to play in, people should feel comfortable approaching others and getting accepted or rejected, as the case may be. As long as the approach is done in a respectful way, everyone wins. Happy playing! 

Thanks to everyone who has written in with questions! I’m really enjoying answering. My email is miriam@askmiriam.ca  Keep sending in the questions…

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