AskMiriam

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Archive for the tag “vacation”

AskMiriam about Mediteranean Men

Question: My boyfriend and I are interested in trying poly style relationship but not at home just yet…We are exploring our curiosity, so we recently discussed perhaps planning a summer trip to Europe and try different cultures. I love the Mediterranean, and I would love to meet a Greek guy on one of those beautiful islands. Greek men appear very masculine and I really like that. According to studies and research they are the highest ranked country in terms of love, sex, companionship.

I’d love to travel to the Mediterranean, (perhaps not France,) and meet some masculine men. Do you have any thoughts, suggestions? Where can I look? Have you yourself had any encounters with Greek men?

Answer: I have had the fortune in my life to live in England and I got to spend 3 months in Germany doing research for my Master’s. In terms of the Mediterranean, I have visited Italy, and that’s about it. I haven’t had the fortune to meet a lot of Greek men, so I can’t  answer that part of your question. European countries widely vary in terms of how love, sex, and companionship are constructed and experienced by individual people. Even within countries, just as within Canada, there is variation. I’m sure there are many Greek men who enjoy having sex, and many who don’t. If you visit the Mediterranean, you may find that other men catch your fancy as well!

Your idea of going on holiday and seeing what a non-monogamous or poly relationship might look like is a valid one. There are many couples out there who would prefer to just dip their toes in the water and then have the privilege of going home. What I would recommend is having a discussion with your boyfriend before you go on vacation. You could discuss, for example, whether you want to play together or separately; some couples prefer playing together and some would rather not see their partner being passionate with someone else. Also, you asked where you can look – some countries have places like swinger’s clubs where you can meet other couples who want to play. Greece seems to have a few: http://www.swingersclublist.com/greece-swingers.html  You may also want to try some online dating sites such as OkCupid, which has attracted many non-monogamous people, and see if you can find other likeminded people. Finally, there’s always just meeting people in person. If you decide to, for example, stay at a resort, you’ll meet other tourists who may want similar experiences to the ones you’re seeking. If you go to a beach that locals frequent, you may meet your dream Greek man. However, you may find that if you mention having a boyfriend, they become hesitant. There are plenty of people out there who either have not heard of non-monogamy or do not wish to engage in it at all.

I have found for myself that while abroad, I may feel differently about certain things. I may feel freer, or not; I may feel nervous because I don’t know the culture very well, so I’m not sure how to act. If you find yourself feeling very free, that’s great, but do proceed with caution. It can be easy to get caught up in the romance while forgetting how you are actually feeling. Within polyamory and non-monogamy, communication is one of the most important things, so make sure that the lines of communication are open with your boyfriend. If either of you becomes jealous, talk about it. If you’re having tons of fun, talk about that too! It’s all part of the journey.

Thank you so much for writing in! If you have any relationship questions, email me at miriam@askmiriam.ca  I hope you are all having a great start to 2017.

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